a golden coin for pleasure

Friday 9:00 AM was the time she would head to my place. I woke up early, did some cleaning, and started to shower. I had seen her on a website where clients review the services of the escorts they hire. In her profile, along with personal details, she had several photos verified by the website and previous clients. There was a close-up photo of her feet, a picture from behind emphasizing her ass and feet, a side profile lying naked on her bed with a mask on, and depending on the ad she was running, a final full-body photo in front of a mirror showing her face and nude body. The ad’s title read, “I offer many additional services that you can take, but everything with protection,” with a “NO ANAL, NOTHING NATURAL, DON’T INSIST” in uppercase at the end.

“I’ll be late, it’s raining, and I’m just about to leave,” is the message I receive. I had contacted her the previous week to arrange a service on a Saturday night, but she had to cancel. It wasn’t that bad; for the inconvenience, she sent me a video of herself naked, masturbating, and said that if I took a service with her in the future, she would give me a good discount. We had short conversations throughout the following week, in which she couldn’t stop emphasizing how excited she was to finally meet me. I knew she said it because she has to, but still felt good talking to someone new, that wants to spend time with me.

I didn’t sleep; I just lost myself in my thoughts while staring at the ceiling next to the window. I don’t know what I was thinking; I just snapped back to reality when I heard her asking for me at the building entrance, and my phone started ringing. I went down to show her where to park the motorcycle. She was wearing a black GAP hoodie and Nike sweatpants, with military green and gray New Balance sneakers. It seemed odd at first, but she had gold earrings, a gold necklace, and a gold ring. It wasn’t until we got to my apartment and she started talking about her belief in the golden opportunity that everything made sense to me. They were magical objects, they had a deeper meaning, they were the answer to a deep desire.

“What a beautiful house you have,” she says, “I don’t plan to be in this forever, the idea is to be here for two years, and I’m already in my second year.” I ask, “Do you have any plans for the future?” She replies, “I’m saving as much as I can, I just know I want to have my own business. I don’t want to be an employee again.” She looks around the living room while taking off her shoes. There’s something to admire in a person who has the ability to fully commit to their aspirations, something to celebrate in the fruits of their hard work. As we share our stories for a while, I noticed that she started looking at her phone, and that fleeting enchanted moment in which I can do nothing but contemplate the aesthetics of her dreams, ends.

“It’s time for you to answer some questions before we start having sex,” she told me. I hadn’t finished overcoming the discomfort that statement caused me, and she was already in her underwear waiting for me and my answers to start. “Do you have any particular fetishes? Do you like something done to you before sex? What would you like to do to a woman before sex? If the sex is good, do you have a problem with making videos?” My answers were very bland, to be honest, I’m sure I didn’t generate anything more than pity, but it doesn’t matter, she can have all the pity she wants for me.

Everything went well in the end. I can’t say there isn’t some pain in being intimate with a person for whom I’m not someone more in a long list of clients and false pretenders. Giving me a last sweet kiss and seeing her leave, I can’t stop thinking. The pain of my past has killed all the sacred things I believed in, including love, and in the shadow of it, nothing is real. So I’m afraid that even if I have the things I want in that golden future waiting for me, because of the things I lost, I will never experience true happiness. And because she understands me, like no one else does, there will never be love between us because there is no action or emotion that eliminates the evils she has experienced. All that remains is to fight to wake up from this nightmare, only to relive it over and over again.

Category: story